Monday, May 2, 2011

It is not Job Hunting its Job Foraging.

To whom it may concern:

I only use this phrase because it is what I was taught in third grade when we covered formal letter writing, alhough you will notice that I did not place your address at the top right-hand corner across from mine, which is supposed to be at the top left-hand corner. That’s because you’re receiving this cover letter via e-mail in response to your post on Craigslist and I don’t actually know your mailing address.

I am interested in blindly applying for the position available as a job seeker with your company whose mailing address I do not know. Thank you very much for considering my application. As you will see in my resume, I have experience as a human being who enjoys dealing with language, though please don’t let this limit your perception of me. I also enjoy making money – let’s refer to that as the muse who inspired this letter (yes, “who,” if money can talk then s/he can be a personal pronoun).

Thank you for considering my application. I am an experienced job seeker, and I have too many professional job-seeking references to list here. Suffice it to say: If you reject my application materials, you will be joining a healthy crowd of businesses, agencies, and educational establishments. Getting a job is more and more resembling getting published, and the rarity of which could be just as discouraging, if it wasn’t for that whole “roof” and “food to eat” and “insurance to pay” thing. As a job seeker, I am not allowed to get so discouraged that I cease to write this gorgeous cover letter. In fact, my Dostoyevsky-ish desperation makes these letters that much more vivid, like a famous painter’s use of eyeliner like lines over a farm landscape. 

As you can see, I am so proficient at job seeking, I do it even when I am not being paid. That is the mark of a true work ethic, and with this economy, it helps to have a hobby. 

Thank you for your time and patience, and I hope to hear from you soon.


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